The Dirge will win this challenge easily. Right now he is playing his favourite heavy metal dirges, typing up this mandatory blog post (in the third person, obviously) and getting started on his balustrade. He cannot wait for the climax of the playlist, ending with the greatest ever opera-metal solo. It is ear and heart-piercing.
Although the Dirge has personal experience in window tinting only, he has plenty of friends who work for glass balustrade businesses, so he knows what is required in the craft. He will make an awesome and aesthetically pleasing balustrade that will get him top points and launch him into competition favouritism. There is nothing the Dirge can’t do!
The Dirge does not even remember his latest evil plan, which apparently involved moving all the mechanics in Australia to a secret location so that he could profit off them. Is that truly how talented the Dirge is, that he could plan and carry out evil deeds without even being aware of it? His intelligence is truly unmatched. It was a great idea for the Dirge to hire an aspiring supervillain to do this work for him, while he focuses on being one of the best glaziers Melbourne has ever seen for the sake of Australia’s Next Top Office.
The glass balustrade is coming along quite well, in the Dirge’s opinion. The playlist will soon reach its best point when the opera singer finishes with a stunning solo. There she goes, singing with her high-pitched metal voice. Just as the Dirge does the finishing touches, proving that he knows how to work glass best.
Oh no! The Dirge must admit that he has made a terrible mistake. He forgot that glass breaks when exposed to high-pitched sounds. He must turn off his music before the solo destroys his balustrade! Now there is another crack, and another, more and more forming as he types these words.
And the Dirge’s glass balustrade is gone. Shattered into a thousand pieces. It seems the Dirge will not win this challenge after all.
