Every year our town has its annual “Boat-off”. It’s kind of an competition, kind of a festival, where everyone brings their boats and we judge them based on various factors. A prize is then given to the man with the “most pimping” boat. It’s a fantastic time of year. It’s very much a family affair, but that isn’t to say we don’t get a bit loose and have plenty of fun. This year, I’m determined to win.
Last year, I had my speed boat decked out with the maddest marine fabrications, including rod holders, bow rail and snapper rack. I even had a little bait board which is nifty for storing those slippery suckers. So I figured I had the practical parts covered, but perhaps I’d neglected the aesthetic aspects. I had given it a new paint job, but it was simple, you know? Nothing flash. I thought I could win the judges over with practicality, but after all, you don’t want to scare the fish away with garish colours. But they ended up choosing a really brilliantly painted boat as the winner.
This guy had it all. He had the whole milky way painted on the side of the boat. He had little ribbons on the handrail, even a series of fish hung up on the snapper rack. I have to admit, it was pretty good. So this year I’m going to aim for something that really stands out. I’m thinking I’ll paint it in green and yellow which are Aussie colours. Then I’m going to put some complimentary fairy floss and toffee apples on the bait tray for the judges when they come past. I’ll sprinkle confetti and glitter all over the deck and tie some helium balloons onto the rod holders. I’m sure I can win them over this year — wish me luck!