There you have it: no more good movies for the year. I’m calling it right now, because we’ve already had Colonel Canada: Uncivil Fighting and it’s not getting much better than that. The way the movie wove together the strands of discord and bubbling emotion into a tapestry of majestic proportions…simply beautiful! The punching was also pretty great as well.
You can see the internet going crazy over it, and there’s even one guy in Sweden who had the main characters tattooed on his back, all set in dramatic poses. That reference might just date somewhat, but…oh well. And then there’s the self-proclaimed ‘megafan’ in North Melbourne who did her own concrete pavers and everything, transforming her garden into a perfect tree-replica of the main conflict. By tree-replica I mean…well, she took all the characters, imagined them as trees and rocks and positioned them in such a way that they look like they’re fighting. It’s rather genius, I say.
For example, you’ve got Colonel Canada hurling his mighty octagonal-shield, except she’s made him a mighty oak tree and simulated the shield with leaf trimming . On the other side, Iron Gentleman, charging into battle in a perfectly crisp, ironed suit and wielding a sizzling hot triangle of crease-free justice. That one turned out to be something like an elm, because we all know that their leaves are perfectly smooth (symbolism!) and the branches were arranged to perfectly simulate the desperation of a battle against someone you call a friend. Personally, I thought there could’ve been just a little bit more desperation, but there’s only so much you can do when your art has no actual faces, just a lot of leaves and branches. White Lynx, Mosquito-Man, Peace Device…they were all there, all represented. It was a great feat of commercial landscaping. Essendon residents better take notice that they need to up their game! I didn’t know people were such fans in this city!